Strategic vulnerability sometimes drives better outcomes, says former NATO peacekeeping commander and business leadership consultant.

During the United Nations peacekeeping mission in East Timor, Colonel Mark Adams found himself in a delicate and dangerous situation. His unit was deployed to a small village that had been ravaged by conflict between militias. Tensions were high, and the local population was distrustful of any outsiders, particularly armed foreign troops.

Adams knew that a show of force alone wouldn’t bring peace or build trust in this volatile environment. Instead of positioning soldiers at strategic vantage points or rolling in armored vehicles, he conducted a careful risk analysis and then did something unexpected: He took off his helmet, left his weapon behind, and walked into the village unarmed. His intention was only to talk, listen and understand.

In complex, fast-moving and high-stakes environments, there is a time for aggressive actions, to be sure, but at other times a deliberate display of vulnerability can build trust more effectively. The trust earned through that vulnerability reduces risk and improves the flow of information that may otherwise be held back.

In peacekeeping, it results in increased access to local knowledge, better early warnings of conflict risks and lower hostility/resistance. In business, it yields increased psychological safety, better collaboration, faster decision cycles, higher retention and a more engaged work force.

This leads to better safety and mission outcomes in peacekeeping and better bottom-line results in business. But both rest on the same foundational truth: Trust must be earned before it is needed and acted upon. So, you’d better learn how to show vulnerability strategically now as part of your broader leadership toolkit and train the vulnerability muscle before the crisis hits.

Show of Force & Show of Vulnerability in Business

Like in the military, show of force leadership in civilian settings such as business relies on the display of authority, control, resources and decisiveness, to be sure. It emphasizes command and control and the use of power to enforce desired outcomes and ensure accountability. It communicates strength through formal authority, hierarchical control and punitive responses for non-compliance. The show of force remains necessary and prudent — and can be useful in certain business settings just as it is in military leadership. For example, a crisis might mean a show-of-force leadership approach is temporarily most appropriate. When the house is on fire, that’s no time to be vulnerable. However, while top-down, command-and-control, transactional leadership might be called for in an acute crisis, trust and relationship-building through show of vulnerability is the key to success in highly complex and fast-moving environments over the long haul.

But the bricks of trust must be laid before a crisis hits! Show of vulnerability in leadership is intentional openness that acknowledges constraints, uncertainty and the limits of one’s own knowledge or power. It is not a lack of courage or competence, but a strategic choice to seek input, disclose risks transparently, invite collaboration, build trust and develop problem-solving skills in your colleagues.

It’s important to emphasize that showing vulnerability always involves a certain level of risk, whether in peacekeeping or civilian settings. Most often, these are interpersonal risks — such as the fear of looking foolish or embarrassing yourself. In peacekeeping, there may also be risks to personal safety. In civilian life, there could be financial or legal risks for your organization. However, when exercised within professional, ethical and safety boundaries, vulnerability can enhance credibility, accountability and trust, enabling effective decision-making in high-stakes environments.

Proven Leadership – When Lives Were on the Line

In the case of Colonel Adam’s admittedly risky move, the villagers were initially wary but, over time, they saw something in Adams that defied their expectations: vulnerability. He shared his desire for peace, acknowledged the villagers’ fears, and listened to their stories. This act of humility and openness, rather than intimidation, broke down barriers. Soon, the locals were not only speaking with Adams but also offering critical information that helped bring stability to the area and improved safety for his peacekeepers.

That moment — a deliberate shift from force to vulnerability — set the tone for the mission and became a model for building trust in a tense, conflict-ridden environment. Colonel Mark Adams’ example shows that sometimes, the greatest strength a leader can demonstrate is the willingness to be vulnerable.

In the military, the traditional notion of leadership often emphasizes a show of force — projecting strength and authority to maintain order in volatile situations. A show of force (such as a warning shot) is intended to warn or intimidate an opponent by showcasing a capability and will to act if one is provoked. Territorial control, fire superiority and self-preservation are often achieved through show of force.

While these military goals remain important for the success of military peacekeeping missions, achieving them is not enough for the success of a mission. If civilians fear you more than they fear the conflict, a show of force can often deepen the very insecurities it aims to quell. It can deter and protect but it can also alienate. Because peacekeepers are often deployed in relatively small numbers amongst an ethnically highly diverse civilian population and are sometimes only lightly armed (or not armed at all), they need to gain the trust of the civilian population. As the opening example demonstrates, trust created through a show of vulnerability can lead to increased safety of peacekeepers in the field and the success of the mission.

My experience as a NATO peacekeeping commander in the Balkans and U.N. peacekeeper in the Middle East and Africa, as well as leadership roles in business, academia and the nonprofit sector has taught me that the turning point from force to vulnerability in peacekeeping can appear small — almost inconsequential. It can begin with choosing to take off a helmet, putting down a weapon when approaching someone, stepping out of the armored vehicle’s shadow, walking into a community unarmed, and listening first. It’s not a trick of bravery and it can never be reckless; it’s a deliberate act of trust-building. Vulnerability in peacekeeping is not weakness; it is a strategic move that can reduce risk by expanding the space for dialogue, local knowledge and shared problem-solving.

Another case in point: Roméo Dallaire, the Canadian general in charge of the UNAMIR for Rwanda, is one of the most well-known figures associated with vulnerability in peacekeeping. Although the broader U.N. mission ended in well-documented disaster and unspeakable atrocities, the General’s courageous and vulnerable actions — staying in Rwanda despite insurmountable odds, engaging directly with militias through dialogue rather than brute force, listening to people’s needs and using empathy to build trust — saved more than 30,000 lives. His powerful example demonstrates how peacekeeping requires more than military strength; it requires emotional resilience, openness and show of vulnerability through carefully calibrated and strategic risk taking.

But it’s not always a matter of life and death — even in peacekeeping. Sometimes it’s just about living and choosing to be genuinely there for those you have been given the responsibility to protect and serve, such during my NATO Deployment in Kosovo.

Rather than isolating on a military base or in gated walls, my team lived in a house in town and among the community — shopping locally, frequenting cafés and visiting the barber. By choosing to live “outside the wire,” we intentionally surrendered the physical security of a fortified military compound. This was a calculated show of vulnerability. The ordinary acts of daily life became levers of legitimacy. Locals began to see peacekeepers as neighbors rather than occupiers; conversations over coffee replaced patrol routes as the primary mechanism for risk reduction. Security didn’t come from body armor or weapons, but from the social capital and trust nurtured through the simple, vulnerable act of sharing in their everyday lives.

These examples demonstrate how in peacekeeping we have learned that building lasting peace often requires a nuanced approach — one that balances strength with vulnerability to foster trust and cooperation among diverse groups. Trust is not built through intimidation, but through transparency and human connection.

Practical Small Acts of Vulnerability

1. Acknowledge the limits of your knowledge and seek input: Say, “I am not quite clear about this. What do you think?” or “This is not really my strong suit; how might you be able to help me here?”
2. Invite collaboration with new colleagues: Take them out for coffee (virtual, if necessary) and learn about them as individuals — their hobbies, families, professional backgrounds and aspirations for the future.
3. Build trust by sharing: Share a meaningful personal goal with your team members to demonstrate that you, too, are a work in progress and always striving to improve. Even better, practice “Vulnerability in 3 Acts” with your team: (1) take responsibility for a mistake you made, (2) share what you learned, and (3) explain what you will do differently next time.
4. Develop problem-solving skills in others: When they come to you for answers, instead of trying to solve the problem for them, simply say, “I don’t know. What information do we have, and what more do we need to figure this out?”

In business and the military, today’s strongest leaders are redefining vulnerability. Rather than believing they must always appear in control or have all the answers, many are using openness and honesty to build trust, strengthen connection and create higher-performing teams.

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella resurrected the tech giant by transforming its culture from the aggressive command-and-control Steve Ballmer era to a culture based on Nadella’s own core values: humility, curiosity and constant learning. His commitment to these values was put to a highly public test in 2014 at a conference celebrating women in computing. When asked what advice he had for women uncomfortable asking for a raise, Nadella blundered, suggesting they shouldn’t ask but instead trust the “system” and “karma” to eventually reward their hard work.

The backlash was swift. However, instead of getting defensive or having PR spin the story, Nadella displayed profound vulnerability and fully owned his misstep. In a candid memo to employees, he said: “I answered that question completely wrong. If you think you deserve a raise, you should just ask.”

He later reflected on the painful embarrassment of the event, calling it a vital moment that exposed his own blind spots. By publicly admitting his ignorance, Nadella showed that a leader’s true strength lies not in being infallible but in having the courage to own their mistakes and commit to doing better.

Brad Smith, the former CEO of the financial technology company Intuit, shows us how to build trust through vulnerability. He volunteered to undergo a “360 assessment” — an evaluation that anonymously surveys peers, direct reports, managers and external stakeholders about a leader’s strengths and weaknesses. Rather than keeping the feedback private, Smith shared the results not only with his board but with the entire company. He emailed his full report to every single person at Intuit, right down to the newest intern, and even taped a copy to his office door for all to see. By doing so, he fostered immense trust across the organization and created a safe environment for everyone to openly work on their own professional development.

Says Smith: “Each year I created clear development goals that I shared with other rising stars in the leadership pipeline. This created a safe space for them to become more reflective and self-aware. People started checking their egos at the door and asking for help.”

Risks and Limitations of Show of Vulnerability

The research-backed evidence supporting leadership through show of vulnerability versus show of force is verified consistently time after time.

Let me be crystal clear, however: Show of vulnerability does not mean reckless exposure. While leading with vulnerability always requires courage and carries a certain level of risk, we must remain within safety boundaries. In peacekeeping, this means conducting careful risk assessments for each situation, communicating transparently with the team about those risks, and seeking the consent of local partners. In business, too, we must transparently communicate risks, obtaining stakeholders’ buy-in, and tailoring vulnerability to context rather than exposing weakness recklessly.

So, it would be presumptuous to claim that leading with vulnerability provides all the answers on how to succeed. The world is simply too complex for that. Leadership is difficult in the best of times, and there are many paths to success.

A crisis might mean that a show of force approach is temporarily the most appropriate. In peacekeeping, for example, if the team is shot at, fire superiority must be sought so they can retreat safely. In a business setting, it might mean that when an organization faces a potentially devastating overnight PR crisis, all messaging is tightly controlled through crisis communication staff.

Finally, a show of vulnerability requires time and emotional resources. Building trusting relationships with your teams and colleagues can sometimes feel “unproductive.” Building trusting relationships is rarely efficient in the short term because of the time and energy required. But it always pays off in the long run.

You never know who you will need to rely on when disaster hits. Building trusting bonds with your team members, colleagues, peers, and bosses now through show of vulnerability is the ultimate preemptive strike.

Urs Koenig, MBA, M.S., Ph.D., is the author of Radical Humility: Be a Badass Leader and a Good Human: Urs Koenig: 9781637554050: Amazon.com: Books, former NATO peacekeeping commander, former UN peacekeeper and founder of the Radical Humility Leadership Institute. Learn more about his leadership lessons and reach out to him at www.UrsKoenig.com.